I am exhausted! I have been running (well actually driving) like a mad woman to get the unachievable done. Yesterday it was just one thing after another. Went to the sewing store to buy gathering tape,forgot my wallet - two hours at the chevy garage for the automatic door lock that hasn't worked in weeks, "sorry mam we couldn't duplicate the problem so we just replaced something anyway"- took four girls to soccer practice- stayed to keep an eye on "creepy guy" with "smooth-1" tag who might live in his cadillac in the parking lot, eyeballing my soccer girls? I don't think so! Frickin freezing outside, waiting to watch all the soccer girls ears fall off and imagining them scrambling around in the grass looking for two that match. Phone call from after-school Nazi telling me "You forgot your son at school". I did not forget him, he had science class after school! "No, there is no more science class till March!" What she meant to say was... "you finally lost it Missy, with your running around like a chicken with her head cut off! How bout I call DSS and relieve you of what must be an unbelievable burden," then she cackled and said," and your little dog too!" So I broke land records to get baby boy, who could have cared less because he was hanging with his homies in after school care. Back to soccer with baby boy and pouty girl who doesn't want to hang around and watch soccer girls look for their ears.Finally by the grace of God reach Honey, who had been in the witness protection plan for most of the day.... he comes and rescues two kids from watching soccer practice because certainly they will die from boredom. Stay after at soccer to let girl stay in my warm car waiting for her mom, because she is 2 pounds and when her ears fall off, she will float away. get home to lovely dinner prepared by Honey. Hmmm... I am happy, kids not so much. Soccer girl had been jonesing for Mexican. She proclaims that we hate her and she never gets anything special, as she chokes down her food. 25 minutes later (I kid you not) out the door to cheer practice. I glare at Honey and baby boy curled up on the couch for a long winters nap. On the way to cheer find out all of the things that my girls need, need, need before the next day. Straight to Target which is on the other and safer side of town, because it is dark now. No fricking compass and protractor at Target! Plotting death of dufuss who broke daughters during school today! To office max for protractor, realizing I don't even know what they look like from my previous life! Then to sports authority to buy under armor for soccer girl who was not blessed with a healthy and insulating layer of fat! Grab three various shirts because everyone in town is there also buying cold weather gear because soccer has started and they all need it. Ladies eye balling me because I have an armful. I hide in the corner to compare prices and check sizes. I march to the counter with my one shirt with a smugness about myself. Scary people in parking lot, I strike a defensive move of fake talking on my phone. Slick I know! Back to cheer, to hear some Moms brag about their kids and others just have roots grow out of their asses into chairs. I snarl at one of my BFF and say "Don't start, I am in a bad mood", she sweetly says "who pissed in your wheaties?". We share witty and sarcastic comments which always cheers me up. We make dinner plans for tonight, our kids over hear and say "yay, we are going to have dinner together?" We both scream "NO...OH NO NO NO, NO KIDS".
And now it is indeed Friday and my clock is ticking. When that school bell rings I will run screaming out of there. Because I have to time kids for the presidential fitness thing today.... all day. Maybe I will treat the kids to a week end with the after-school Nazi! No wait.... more soccer practice. I'm bringing duct tape for all those ears though!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
What I said: Oh how wonderful that the science fair project is done and we can have our floor and sanity back. Good job sweet girl, you really did a good job!What I meant: Thank the Lord we are getting this out of my house, for all the stress and tears it has been causing. I know there is glue and paint on my dining room rug. ANd I am so writing a letter to the Dean about the $ and time involved in these ridiculous projects. (She had to turn in three projects today and declare her new project subject!) Homeschooling is looking so good to me!(Actually, really...I have considered it!)
What I said: Look how sweet that our children continually sleep together in the same bed. What angels they are. Lets not move them to their own beds, lets just let them enjoy each other's company!
What I meant: Honey put the house on the market NOW! If we down size to a two-bed room, we can afford Disney every year and then some!
Posted by Sam at 3:31 AM
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Monday, February 22, 2010
My computer, my living room and dining room have been hijacked!
Hijacked by the 6th grader, and her science fair project, another science project and a history thing. I am so over this over bearing list of projects.
I am really trying to ignore it all , because they need to do these projects on their own. BUT, look at my dining room and living room!
Try to ignore the dogs, sequestered in that crate. There is way too much stuff for them to step on and that my result in instant death .... by her.
I'll be back.... someday! She is hovering over me at this minute because I am in her creative space, and that clashes with her comfort zone.
Posted by Sam at 2:06 PM
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
"People forget that I am an Olympian and a great skater. They are distracted by my personality!"
I have no problem with you Johnny Weir! You skate great and isn't that the point?
And another one I have no problem with.
I am speechless, which is probably best, as I drool on my keyboard!
Posted by Sam at 10:36 AM
Thursday, February 18, 2010
I am so proud! She made the middle school soccer team!
Two grueling try out days, divided by a day of getting a full set of braces!
(Just to make her meaner!)
I think it worked! Just kidding. She is only athletically, appropriately, mean.
Then she flops back over to happy smiley cheer faces.
Never the two sports shall meet!
Posted by Sam at 7:31 PM
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
This little blondie here, is Lindsey Jacobellis. She did NOT win the gold medal in Turino four years ago, because she was hot dogging, and she slipped and ended up with the silver. Poor girl.
Thousands of interviews, photo shoots, and four years later....
Yesterday was supposed to be her big win. But... she didn't even make it down the hill. True conditions were awful, the slope was slushy and rutted, and every one was struggling.
Sorry Lindsey! Maybe you will have another chance.
What I Meant to Say
I just can't even be that bad, but it includes the words:
cocky, smug, chickie, seriousness, athlete, olympic, honor, example, children,
String them all together in "no particular order", and you get my meaning.
Keeping in mind that I am trying to groom my young athletic children in a way that they will benefit as young adults and make me proud as a mom.
Posted by Sam at 12:04 PM
Monday, February 15, 2010
What a cute boy! Won the gold medal in something. I think he had skis on. Any way, his story was all about his older brother who has cerebral palsy. His brother was never supposed to be walking at his age and is managing to walk sometimes and can even ski. He dedicated his medal to his brother. Canada got a quick nod, but it was for his brother.
Okay... how many mothers, daughters and women of every age, want to snatch him up right now!
You cute little thing with the french accent! I am throwing Apollo Anton to the curb! But Anton has that cute little team mate J.R. who nearly died last year..... I am a sucker for the whole life story, not just their performance.
What endears you to your Olympic athlete?
Posted by Sam at 8:45 PM
Saturday, February 13, 2010
If I told you that competition cheerleading was loaded with drama, would you believe me? Would you laugh at me? Would, as a dear bloggy friend, at least continue reading???
Believe me it is, over-saturated with drama, and it is okay to laugh. Because today my girls; a seasoned fourth year competitor and her rookie sister, both won first place together. It was a great victory! This competition was delayed three hours from the six inches of snow that we got pummeled with last night, and that gave them all the more time to unravel with nerves.
They will fight over this plaque till they have to return it to the gym on Wednesday. I think sweet cheeks on the left has it under her pillow right now!
Okay... big winner number three!
This is Pioneer Woman's Butter Chicken.
(This picture is my actual food. Complete with my Mic Ultra)
I made it exactly as to the recipe, except I cut the cayenne in half, and threw it in the crock pot for 8 hours after the whole saute onion part. My kids loved it, my Honey loved it. It was really fantastic!
Okay last but not least.
It is NBA All-Star week. In case you haven't noticed, I am entranced with basketball, in particular my Charlotte Bobcats. My Bobcat All-Star Gerald Wallace, is in the slam dunk contest tonight, so all eye's are on the TV. Well... actually we are aggressively flipping between NBA and The Olympics.
BUT.. for those of you who enjoy great commercials, the NBA ones are by far the best.
Check out this one!
It is priceless. My husband rewound it and we watched it three times. It is hysterical.
Please... I beg you, watch this just once, for me!
And may I close with one profound quote by Charles Barkley.
"Gatorade doesn't help the athletes that really suck!"
And may I close with one profound quote by Charles Barkley.
"Gatorade doesn't help the athletes that really suck!"
Posted by Sam at 6:38 PM
Posted by Sam at 7:40 AM
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Convoluted conversation with #1 Son:
#1: Hey Mom, Guess what?
Me: No clue, hit me with it honey.
#1: So I am doing research on jelly fish, and was on the internet trying to find
some data to back it up. AND I found another university doing the same
research. Go ahead! Guess where?
Me: No clue, (but thinking, you are already 13 hours away, hoping and praying it's not further) Where Honey?
#1: App! (Appalachian University!!!!!)
Me: You are kidding me! (Two hours from me)
#1: So I've been emailing this professor back and forth all day and she said I sound
like a great candidate for her grad program.
Me: *silence* because I am in complete shock. That is amazing!
#1: I know, it's Sic!
Not quite sure what Sic means, but guessing it means he approves.
I'll take it!
(okay that's happy me, in my dreams 30 year ago! But I feel this happy!)
Keep your fingers crossed people. It would be such a pleasure to start doing his laundry again. He such a cool guy!
Posted by Sam at 12:48 PM
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Sporty Spice has been feeling punky. She's missed a day of school each week for three weeks. That is unheard of for her! She would rather bleed out of her eyeballs than miss a day of school. (Over-achiever! Did NOT get that trait from me!)
The Doctor says she does not have strep or the flu or a variety of germs. She may get tested for mono later this week. She is already irritated by the idea because she has soccer try outs next week.
For now she is exhausted and feeling a little needy.
She loves her Pap-Pap!
She will never, ever be to old to sit on his lap.
And he doesn't mind it one bit!
What a sweet baby!
Who doesn't love a sleeping baby?
Meanwhile... at the other end of the table!
What every girl needs!
Posted by Sam at 8:01 AM
I am so accommodating!
Accommodating: helpful in bringing about a harmonious adaptation.
What I feel like however, is a door mat. " Come on in! Let me take your coat. Wipe your feet right here, on me!"
Well... maybe that is a little dramatic. Of course the word dramatic has the word estrogen in it's definition, I am certain!
I have been doing my job, schlepping my kids around to countless doctors appts., haircuts, dental appts., school, after school activities, Orthodontist appts, for many years now. I have fostered relationships with many, many, people who help take good care of my children is these areas. When you have a handful of kids and a bazillion places to be a one time, you begin to carefully trust what appts, that you can safely leave your child at for a few moments under the watchful eye of staff that you have grown to know, while you hustle another child to another destination.
I have been taking my kids to the same orthodontist since the beginning of time. I love his staff, they love my kids. We are ready for round two of braces on the second child. Second child of four who see him.
I selected this orthodontist, five years ago, after careful research and recommendations from dentist's. I have been very very happy with him.
Well....Honey comes home from work the other day and announces that everybody at his institution goes so see someone else who gives a huge financial discount. And everybody just loves him. I am pissed!
So I am suppose to just call and cancel our appt. to have our braces applied for next week, even though we have already had the impressions done and are ready to go? I looked at his guys web site and he does the old fashion braces with rubber bands. They require a visit every month. My kids have been sporting the Damon system that has a tension wire that moves teeth faster and requires a visit every three months.
What I meant to say to Honey was....
Thank you for spending the time and research to find a new and "rumored to be" less expensive Orthodontist. One that my kids don't know and I will be forced to hover around for every "more frequent" appt. for the next five or six years.
Actually you need to take one for the team and become the go-to guy for this new adventure. You will have to carefully compare your schedule with the schedule of your children and find blissfully compatible times in which you may take your kids to their brand new Orthodontist. Oh and I will warn you, until you background check and socialize at length with all of the staff, you may not leave my children there unaccompanied!
But I won't, because if hell freezes over and I were going to have a big Valentines surprise, this would surely ruin it.
And another thing I want to say today!
Kiss my @$$ Cupid!
In my opinion you have never really made a big appearance at my house!
Posted by Sam at 5:57 AM
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
You know who you are!!!
I just watched Whip It with my kids. One daughter was mortified, one daughter, (much like my self), was totally inspired. I mean what better way to vent your daily mom and woman frustrations. I definitely would take one for the team , and give one back. I can think of so many people I would clothes line and laugh hysterically at . And YOU MY BLOGGER FRIENDS are being drafted to my team. I could go down my list of regular daily blog reads and happily roll with you. The list would be endless.
And the coach would totally be Meeko Fabulous! (I so hope you read this one!)
Supah, Semi-Slacker, Princess of Sarcasm. You don't even need roller names. You are so set! Vodkamom, Bad Mom,.... the list goes on! My goodness, how poetic is it!
I myself am torn between, Scary Spice, Nicole Bitchie, or Mariah Scary!
Give me the fish nets baby! I'll roll up my sleeves and show my Christian fish to the world, (I know..... don't say anything!)
I want to show up at our school one morning with a big shiner and say to the "hall guard", "Yeah! What about it!".
But I must have on my team:
My sister- Skinderella!
(Oh she is so gonna blush, but she will secretly fist pump when no one is watching!)
Oh this blog feels so right!
Posted by Sam at 7:46 PM