Friday, February 26, 2010

For the Love of God! It's Friday!

I am exhausted! I have been running (well actually driving) like a mad woman to get the unachievable done. Yesterday it was just one thing after another. Went to the sewing store to buy gathering tape,forgot my wallet - two hours at the chevy garage for the automatic door lock that hasn't worked in weeks, "sorry mam we couldn't duplicate the problem so we just replaced something anyway"- took four girls to soccer practice- stayed to keep an eye on "creepy guy" with "smooth-1" tag who might live in his cadillac in the parking lot, eyeballing my soccer girls? I don't think so! Frickin freezing outside, waiting to watch all the soccer girls ears fall off and imagining  them scrambling around in the grass looking for two that match. Phone call from after-school Nazi telling me "You forgot your son at school". I did not forget him, he had science class after school! "No, there is no more science class till March!" What she meant to say was... "you finally lost it Missy, with your running around like a chicken with her head cut off! How bout I call DSS and relieve you of what must be an unbelievable burden," then she cackled and said," and your little dog too!" So I broke land records to get baby boy, who could have cared less because he was hanging with his homies in after school care. Back to soccer with baby boy and pouty girl who doesn't want to hang around and watch soccer girls look for their ears.Finally by the grace of God reach Honey, who had been in the witness protection plan for most of the day.... he comes and rescues two kids from watching soccer practice because certainly they will die from boredom. Stay after at soccer to let girl stay in my warm car waiting for her mom, because she is 2 pounds and when her ears fall off, she will float away. get home to lovely dinner prepared by Honey. Hmmm... I am happy, kids not so much. Soccer girl had been jonesing for Mexican. She proclaims that we hate her and she never gets anything special, as she chokes down her food. 25 minutes later (I kid you not) out the door to cheer practice. I glare at Honey and baby boy curled up on the couch for a long winters nap. On the way to cheer find out all of the things that my girls need, need, need before the next day. Straight to Target which is on the other and safer side of town, because it is dark now. No fricking compass and protractor at Target! Plotting death of dufuss who broke daughters during school today! To office max for protractor, realizing I don't even know what they look like from my previous life! Then to sports authority to buy under armor for soccer girl who was not blessed with a healthy and insulating layer of fat! Grab three various shirts because everyone in town is there also buying cold weather gear because soccer has started and they all need it. Ladies eye balling me because I have an armful. I hide in the corner to compare prices and check sizes. I march to the counter with my one shirt with a smugness about myself. Scary people in parking lot, I strike a defensive move of fake talking on my phone. Slick I know! Back to cheer, to hear some Moms brag about their kids and others just have roots grow out of their asses into chairs. I snarl at one of my BFF and say "Don't start, I am in a bad mood", she sweetly says "who pissed in your wheaties?". We share witty and sarcastic comments which always cheers me up. We make dinner plans for tonight, our kids over hear and say "yay, we are going to have dinner together?" We both scream "NO...OH NO NO NO, NO KIDS".
    And now it is indeed Friday and my clock is ticking. When that school bell rings I will run screaming out of there. Because I have to time kids for the presidential fitness thing today.... all day. Maybe I will treat the kids to a week end with the after-school Nazi! No wait.... more soccer practice. I'm bringing duct tape for all those ears though!


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4 comments:

  1. I'm exhausted just reading that! I've had that kind of week too. Busy, busy, busy and no time to blog = unhappy me.

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  2. Those must-have my tomorrow items drive me NUTS. Wal-Mart sells Starter brand underarmor at a fraction of the price of the real thing. A fraction.

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  3. omg. you make me just sit here and shake in silent laughter.

    but i'm still the sweet one :)

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  4. Lord have mercy....you sound like me! Master of ceremonies for a three ring circus!

    That defensive move is one of mine.

    I don't let my son play Spring soccer due to the fact that I lost my left nipple to the bitter cold last season. I'm praying it will be much warmer in a couple of weeks when baseball & flag football start!

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