Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Merry Ski-mas!

We went to Snowshoe WV to ski for the second Christmas in a row. We had fabulous snow when we got there. (So fabulous in fact that we couldn't get up the drive way to our house, till some local boy plowed it.) We had to hike through 24 inches of snow with puppy in hand and three kids who had to pee, real bad, up a 50 yard driveway. 

My kids are hell on skis. 
Rocket man on the left goes straight down the mountain with few turns. He doesn't seem to have a problem stopping whenever he gets where he is going. (Unlike me...) 
Ski Bunny in the  middle is good at making it all look so easy. Steepness doesn't deter her. She really only cares if her ski pants match her coat, and that her gator is the wrong shade of pink.
Suzy Chapstick on the right, is a no-nonsense, danger is better and "can you keep up" machine. Next year she needs to snowboard.
All of the kids wanted to do at the end of the week was spend time on the terrain park. The terrain park is an area where there are obstacles and jumps and things to slide on, "shredding"? (I prefer to avoid obstacles, not jump, and shred not!)
Rocket man attempted to slide acrossed something that he ended up straddeling instead. Big Ouch!
Two days of ski school was only  baby sitting   an attempt to give them better speed control skills.

Here we are at the top of the world. I could only gather the kids together for a few seconds because they had much better things to do, owning the mountain and all! To get to the top of the world, I had to go down trails that I didn't want to or felt I had the courage or skill to. Hard to chicken out in front of the kids though. They already took turns baby sitting me.

So the trail on the left looks like it plummets into the great abyss. (It does) And the one on the right has slightly less...plummet-ness. I took right and the kids took left. Rocket Man went with me, he drew the short straw. I was feeling a little full of myself and was carefree flying down the mountain. I had a major wipe-out on the easiest trail of all. Poor Rocket Man had to help me with my skis and practically hold my hand till we met up with the rest of the clan at the Sugar Shack. (The bar). Honey, who is in fact a doctor, examined my shoulder, ( in one of those doctory ways that includes pressing on things till you scream) thought I had a fractured clavicle. Or a separated shoulder. My friends bought me a Jack and Coke. I got to meet the ski patrol. They made me scream too. They recommended an x-ray. Honey whispered in my ear that an x-ray then or several days later wouldn't change anything. So went went back to the house and he poured me another Jack and Coke, packed my shoulder in snow and put me down for a long winters nap. I took the next day off and it was a Christmas miracle! My shoulder felt better. SO much better that I skied again the last day. More cautiously, but I skied any way. I can't really pick my right arm up over my head and have a hard time putting my clothes on, but I will get it checked out after the kids go back to school.

Here is our Christmas dinner. We had honey baked ham, home made baked mac n cheese, green beans, croissants, and coconut cake. Not bad for the mountains. The family that went with us were great fun. (oh and just to point out the kids have cranberry juice and snow in their wine glasses!)
Long trip home to find Santa had been there. But it did tick me off that we come home on the 27th to have our Christmas and half of our neighborhood has already tossed their trees out for the garbage man.
People seem to rush the holiday and then can't  wait to get it over with! So sad!
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Post It Note Tuesday!

During Christmas break I barely know what day it is!
Fortunately I read my friends posts, so I have a clue!
So here it is!
Post it note Tuesday!!!

Post it with Supah Mommy

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Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Happy Birthday Babies!!!!!

Yes sir it is there birthday! And NO they are not twins! One was born Dec 20 and the next Dec 22. What a crazy two years. It has made Christmas a blur for a very long time.
What a lovely pair of beauties. Inside and out!
Happy Birthday Casey!
Happy Birthday Reggie!
I love you!
Now get out of bed cause we are going skiing for the next five days!

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Friday, December 18, 2009

All I want for Christmas is an elephant gun loaded with hormones!

These pre-adolescent times are for the birds. After this mornings little tsunami got out of the car for school. (Or did I hit the eject button... not sure, it is unclear) I have two great ideas. 
1. There should be an elephant gun loaded with either female hormones or just plain old tranquilizers. It should be mounted behind glass in my hall way at about elbows height. That way I could dramatically break the glass, cock the gun while I shoulder roll into her bedroom and fire away. Then maybe that woman-child would relax into a calmer state of mind.
2. My second choice, or maybe my first, it would depend on how fast it worked. As her voice escalates in the morning, little sprinklers in the ceiling would just automatically start to spray, Ativan, Xanax, Tear gas....something to soothe the raging beast.
I guess if none of this fits onto my stocking a Mommy Taser might be a nice alternative.
"Love ya Honey...BZZZZZZ! It's for your own good Honey.....BZZZZZZ!"
BY the way here it is, see the crazed look in it's super model eyes?

Careful.... if you stare too long, it will steal your soul and then you will love it forever anyway...sigh.
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Tuesday, December 15, 2009

People I'd like to take a golf club to!

I just can't fault a woman who uses what she has. I too, have a garage full of golf clubs. There was a day when they looked awful tempting next to my Honey's shiny white Porche. I had considered "distressing the Porche". You know people pay extra for that distressed look. Clearly I was out of my mind that day! Okay, on to more reasonable whacking targets.

1. Hey Mr. Garbage Man!! You actually get paid to put the trash into your big truck. I don't care if your driving skills are bad or you can't work that electric moving arm-y thing, you still need to do your job. If I accidentally let one of my kids fall out of the car on the way to school and only two get there? Guess what? I am expected to go pick that one up and get him there too! It's called "task completion" and you earn a gold star! You Mr. Garbage Man get a swift 9 iron up side your nasty truck, at the very least!

2. Mrs. Cheater Pants who cuts in line every morning at school. Follow the traffic pattern like the rest of us. Does cutting acrossed campus make you feel special or more important? I am betting you don't burn with embarassment from all of the sneers that you get in the morning. Your ego must be incredibly intact to break the rules every single morning. OR maybe you work for the government and have an incredibly important high paying and secret job that you need to not mingle in normal traffic? What ever... you get the 3 wood!

3. The redneck teenagers in this town who think it is so cool to drive through other people front yards because it is muddy and will leave a cool splatter all over their cars. And cool! The yards will look so defiled! You all deserve the putters and I will jam them in your grills too! Car or mouth, it doesn't matter!

4. Basketball coach for 3rd graders. Do you need to yell at the top of your lungs at every practice? It could be demoralizing to those babies. How bout I just sit here on the bleachers with a club on my knees in case you make someone cry.

In honor of the season I will cut my list off before I get crazy.....  

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Things That I Never Thought I'd Hear!

At this time of year when, all hell breaks loose  we are at our seasonal best. I have one sick, one recovering and one moping from lack of attention. Here are some of the surprising tid bits I have heard over the past few days.

1. Shar, you stay home with Shane. I will take the girls to the mall to Christmas  shop!

2. Mommy, can we just snuggle?

3. Mommy, you are going to have a great Christmas. (Accompianied by a sweet little smirk)

4. The sound of silence.... after the credit card bill has been opened and reviewed. Actual silence..... God I love that man!

5. My friend calling me just to check on me. "I haven't talked to you in a while and I just missed you!" She sounds just like the Geico Pothole! Always a joy to hear her voice.

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Thursday, December 10, 2009

The Bright Side...

1. Despite having a fever of up to 104 off and on for three days, it looks like I am in fact not dying.

2. My children will guilt my husband into actually putting something into my stocking. Even though he bought me a mac daddy Canon G 1 million, but declared it my Christmas present before I even got it open.

3. No matter how hard I cough and sneeze and smell like sweat, my dogs and kids still want to be all over me! :)

4. My parents are always there for me.

5. Diet Sun-Drop over ice makes everything better, every time!

6. Thinking I lost 20 pounds over this bout with Malaria or Typhoid or Leprosy or whatever it is. A big girl can think big!

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Tuesday, December 1, 2009


I am so busy right now I could cry. I have too much to do, not enough time. I am being mean to my kids and husband, and I can't sleep!

Any of this sound familiar?

Happy Holidays!
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