Tuesday, December 15, 2009

People I'd like to take a golf club to!

I just can't fault a woman who uses what she has. I too, have a garage full of golf clubs. There was a day when they looked awful tempting next to my Honey's shiny white Porche. I had considered "distressing the Porche". You know people pay extra for that distressed look. Clearly I was out of my mind that day! Okay, on to more reasonable whacking targets.

1. Hey Mr. Garbage Man!! You actually get paid to put the trash into your big truck. I don't care if your driving skills are bad or you can't work that electric moving arm-y thing, you still need to do your job. If I accidentally let one of my kids fall out of the car on the way to school and only two get there? Guess what? I am expected to go pick that one up and get him there too! It's called "task completion" and you earn a gold star! You Mr. Garbage Man get a swift 9 iron up side your nasty truck, at the very least!

2. Mrs. Cheater Pants who cuts in line every morning at school. Follow the traffic pattern like the rest of us. Does cutting acrossed campus make you feel special or more important? I am betting you don't burn with embarassment from all of the sneers that you get in the morning. Your ego must be incredibly intact to break the rules every single morning. OR maybe you work for the government and have an incredibly important high paying and secret job that you need to not mingle in normal traffic? What ever... you get the 3 wood!

3. The redneck teenagers in this town who think it is so cool to drive through other people front yards because it is muddy and will leave a cool splatter all over their cars. And cool! The yards will look so defiled! You all deserve the putters and I will jam them in your grills too! Car or mouth, it doesn't matter!

4. Basketball coach for 3rd graders. Do you need to yell at the top of your lungs at every practice? It could be demoralizing to those babies. How bout I just sit here on the bleachers with a club on my knees in case you make someone cry.

In honor of the season I will cut my list off before I get crazy.....  

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