Friday, August 21, 2009

FIrst Day of School

I had great intentions, but the day spun out of control.
Here is the obligatory picture of my goofballs.

I have done this, first day of school thing, a few times now. I figure I am a pro.
I got up early, made coffee, walked the puppy, 
made bacon,fed the puppy,
took a shower, cooked chocolate chip oatmeal pancakes, 
cooked the pancakes in the bacon grease, (just to devalue the oatmeal),
eased the kids awake, approved outfits,
took pictures, out the door.
Everyone had brushed their teeth, remembered their back packs,
 and wore underware. (Okay that was aimed at Shane)
We got to drop off at middle school and the chest tightness began.
She hopped out of the truck like a guilty criminal on the lam.
We had to sit on the car for nearly a half hour till elementary drop off.
(Try not to cry, try not to cry.)
Dropped the rest of the pack off, finally.
I nearly drove over the dean of schools making my exit , anxious to meet my girl friends at the coffee place for emotional support.
Starting to sob in the parking lot, I back into a crepe myrtle tree with my truck!
Nice! (Note to self: call Honey, much later and pepper the conversation with the many good and positive attributes of the day, while I slip in the info about the truck vs. tree).
Nice time with friends, feeling better, go home.
I see a turtle on the front lawn. Feeling very nurturing and like mother-of-the-year,
I decide to introduce turtle to my 70 lb. boxer, who has a turtle problem.
While I was focused on turtle and boxer, sneaky little puppy slips out the front door.
I see him at the door a few minutes later and am so proud that though he slipped out, he came bounding back up to door looking happy to see me.
What I didn't see was the dead mouse in his mouth.
So I spent 20 minutes chasing terrier with mouse, screaming profanities. Finally I grab terrier, who drops dead mouse and licks my face!


Next year I won't risk it.
 The kids can wake themselves up, eat dried cereal and call a cab, or start walking.

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1 comment:

  1. Oh my word - tell me why and how you make this stuff up? I'm giggling and snorting to myself reading this.